Amends
by Bl4ckHunter
Summary: Fix-it one-shot to 1x17. Oliver explains himself to Tommy.


**Just something that had been bugging me. Takes place in 1x17.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ****_DC Comics_**** or the CW TV shows ****_Arrow_****, ****_The Flash_****, ****_Legends of Tomorrow_****, ****_Supergirl _****or any other characters or elements pertaining to the mentioned franchises.**

* * *

"You're a murderer." Tommy whispered. "A killer. You were my best friend in life, but now it's like I don't even know you."

Oliver sighed, trying a different tactic. "You're right. But let me help you understand the man I am now. I'm not expecting you to understand or forgive me. I'm just asking you to listen."

"What would be the point? I wouldn't believe a word of it, anyway." Tommy snorted.

Oliver sighed, dejected before trying a different tactic. Without saying another word, Oliver grabbed Tommy by his arm. "Oliver, hey!"

Oliver punched in the code and went downstairs into the lair, which was empty, with Felicity still at work in Queen Consolidated.

"Oliver…" Diggle called out before Oliver showed Tommy the List.

"What is it?" Tommy demanded.

"Just take a look at it." Oliver said as Tommy took a glance at the List, recognizing the names Oliver had crossed off.

"You have a "to kill" list?" Tommy snorted.

"How many people have I killed on that List?" Oliver interrupted. "Just five. Asides from them, those I killed were gangsters or bodyguards guarding crooked people and I did that only in self-defense, when they left me no choice or when I gave them a chance but they didn't listen. Leo Mueller, a German arms dealer selling weapons in the Glades.

Justin Claybourne, he poisoned Lamb Valley with weaponized tuberculosis and then offered a drug curing it for a high price to turn a profit. Ted Gaynor, he was going to kill John and I stopped him." He glanced at Diggle. "Guillermo Barrera, I had to kill him in self-defense, since he was one of the hitmen hired to kill your father and then there's Hideo Yamane I met in Russia last year. He was supplying Vertigo to the Count in Starling and I had to shut him down but he left me no choice."

Tommy just stared.

"I know you think I'm a murderer but I'm asking you to give me a chance to explain." Oliver pointed to the bow. "Yes, I may have killed people with this bow but it was only for my own survival. That thing is what kept me alive in the past five years." He said as Tommy turned to him and the bow contemplatively.

"And if I really was the man you think I am, you would've died back in Hong Kong three years ago, when you came looking for me."

Tommy blinked. "How… how do you know about that?"

"Because I was there." Oliver said and Tommy was about to open his mouth when Oliver raised his hand, interrupting him. "It's a long story and really complicated but at one point, I was… found by this black ops government organization called A.R.G.U.S. led by Amanda Waller. She had been watching me for a while and she wanted to use my skills and she threatened to kill you, Laurel, Thea and even the family of the agent, who was supposed to be "handling" me, if I tried to escape or reach out to you that I'm alive. I even tried to send Mom an email before they stopped me."

Tommy's eyes widened as the pieces fell together. "Wait, when they kidnapped me…"

"It was me." Oliver said. "Waller wanted to have you killed and if I hadn't found out it was you, you would've died that day." Tommy paled. "But I managed to convince my handler to stage the kidnapping…"

"So, when I got grabbed in my apartment back then, that was you?" Tommy realized as Oliver nodded, regretful.

"I didn't want to do this but I didn't know what else to do. If you had known I was alive, you would've never stopped looking for me and that would've gotten you killed. Waller didn't want to have her "asset" compromised because of you." Oliver said.

"What… why would this Waller want you?" Tommy demanded.

"Like I told you, I've had to kill people with that bow, mostly for my own survival." Oliver again pointed at the bow. "Waller wanted to use my skills because of that, she'd blackmail, extort and threaten anyone to get her way, even kill, she doesn't care about who gets hurt, innocent people or collateral damage be damned, as long as she gets her way. I've done bad things and I'm not denying that but I'm trying to be better."

"By playing Robin Hood?" Tommy demanded before Oliver showed him the video with Robert's message.

"Hello, Oliver." Robert smiled at the camera, while sitting in his office. "I told myself I was recording this message in case I died suddenly but I wonder if it isn't just easier to say what I have to say to a video camera. I'm not the man you think I am, Oliver. I didn't save our city, I failed it. I did something terrible, and in my efforts to make it right, I ignored my conscience and made alliances with terrible people. There's a book. A book with a list of all their names. And with these people, I always told myself that everything I did, I did for my family. That's a lie. Because what good is a family without a soul? You can right my wrongs. You can be better than I was. You can save this city. I love you."

The video stopped as Tommy stared at it, processing. "Where… when… did you get this?"

Oliver sighed, not wanting to tell Tommy about that he had been back in Starling City on Tommy's birthday three years ago and that he had seen Tommy, Laurel, Thea and Quentin in not very pleasant state. "It's… complicated and a long story. And I'm not ready to tell you that yet. But I just want you to understand that everything I've done, every life I've taken, was to protect myself and to protect you. Just like when they tried to kill your Dad. I'm not expecting you to forgive me for lying. I just want you to understand."

"So… all this… was to honor your Dad's dying wish?" Tommy asked.

"Dad and I and his bodyguard made it to the lifeboat, when the Gambit went down. But there wasn't enough food and water for us all, so Dad killed himself and his bodyguard and before that, he asked me to survive and right his wrongs and he left me that book." Oliver explained with pleading eyes, hoping Tommy would understand.

"Oliver… I…" Tommy took a breath. It was one thing to find out he was a vigilante but this… He went out, processing.

* * *

Sometime later, Tommy entered the empty Verdant after Helena had escaped and injured McKenna.

"I've heard about McKenna. Are you OK?" Tommy asked as he sighed. "Look, Ollie… I… I'm sorry. About earlier. I just couldn't understand how you could keep such a huge secret from me. But I… I never considered the toll it must take on you." He admitted.

"Lying to the people that are closest to me...it's the hardest part." Oliver said softly.

"I get that." Tommy assured him.

Oliver exhaled deeply. "I was wrong to think that I could have it both ways; that I could do what I do and still have a normal life." He stated. "With anyone."

"Except if you're alone, you're never going to be happy." Tommy pointed out.

"Maybe not." Oliver admitted. "But me being happy isn't what's important right now."

"Maybe. But I'm always going to be here for you." Tommy held his shoulder with a reassuring smile. "And you'll always be my best friend."

Oliver smiled back as he looked up at Tommy. Finally, after the three weeks, it seemed that they had their best friend back.

* * *

** Don't get me started on how annoying it was that Tommy refused to listen to Oliver, so I wondered, what if Oliver had persisted more.**

**So, what do you guys think?**

**Please review and let me know if you have enjoyed this one-shot.**

**With regards**

**Bl4ckHunter**


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